Yesterday was the 9th Annual Survivors of Suicide Remembrance Day. This has a particular resonance for transgendered people.
It is exceedingly common to transgendered people to attempt suicide at some point in their lives. The emotional stresses of living as one gender while being another can be tremendously difficult to bear, even if the person doesn't even realize she's transgendered. There is no way to know how many of them are successful, but I do not think it is exaggerating to say that even one successful suicide attempt is a tragedy.
No matter how painful things get, committing suicide will not end the pain. It may end your pain...but John Donne was correct when he observed that no man is an island. With your death begins a lifetime of pain for everyone you know. Your family and your friends will all have to live with the knowledge that they failed to stop you for the rest of their lives. Try to imagine living with that kind of pain every day for the rest of your life. Try to imagine having to wonder what you could have done differently. Try to imagine carrying that burden of guilt around for the rest of your life. Do you really want to place that burden on your loved ones?
I know how much a person can want to die. I have those thoughts regularly. And in my current position, it would be all too easy to accomplish. But I know how much pain that would cause to the people I love, and that knowledge stays my hand every time. I don't know if my life will ever get any better. I hope that it will, of course, and I certainly have a better chance than some. I don't mean to belittle the situations that many of my transsexual sisters and brothers find themselves in; the world is an unkind place for us. But suicide won't solve those problems. Yes, for the person who kills herself, her problems are over, but she has simply gifted many new problems to everyone else she knows. It's just not worth it.
There are resources out there. Laura's Playground has a chat room specifically for transgendered people who may be considering suicide. In the U.S., you can call the suicide prevention hotline at any hour at (800) 273-TALK (8255). There are many, many organizations out there interested in helping people thinking about suicide. Please...take advantage of them. Our community is too small already to lose anyone.
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